Doing this project has changed how I think and act quite a lot. Spending as much time as I do thinking about being kind and encouraging people to be kind to others results in my noticing opportunities for spontaneous kindness. In a city of over two million people there is no shortage of people who may need help getting a stroller up the stairs, a bit of cash for a sandwich, or just walking someone who is lost to where they are trying to go. These are things you can’t plan ahead because, of course, you don’t know when the next one will come. You can only choose to be more open to taking those opportunities. Working on this project has made me far more open to that. And I hope, as you follow and participate in this project, it also makes you do the same.

There are other opportunities that you can plan on and we’ve seen a number of pledges like that. The latest opportunity we all have to do this is, of course, to send Valentines day cards to The Moorings. I do these sorts of things, making pledges along with you here. But I don’t do as many of them as I’d like. I’m always glad when I do as they make me really happy.

A few weeks ago I decided to do another one of these. As it was just after Gratitude Week, I had gratitude very much on my mind. And as it is the middle of winter I am taking transit much more than I am riding my bike. I make no secret about how much I love transit, except in one case. Sure, I thank drivers when I leave a bus or streetcar, but do they really know how much I appreciate them? The time had come to remedy that.

And so it was that I found myself at 6:00 AM before my morning commute at a coffee shop buying five gift cards. Once I had purchased them, I took five little gift card holders and wrote in each one “Toronto appreciates its transit workers.” (Sure, many love to complain about the transit system, and some like to complain about the workers, but my experiences have been almost exclusively positive.) And so equipped, I headed down into the subway.

Card #1: 60 Steeles West Bus Driver

(Photo by Loozrboy under Creative Commons License)
It was a snowy morning, the kind of morning I used to dread back in the days when I used to own a car. Not enough snow to make people slow down but enough snow to make the roads treacherous. Yes, the buses can be a little slower, wetter, and a bit more packed on days like today, but they provide the distinct benefit of riding in a large vehicle that is relatively good in snow. And if there’s a fender bender in a bus, you just leave that bus behind and grab the next one. And the best part? While you’re on the way to work through snow and traffic, you’re reading a good book.

As we approached my bus stop, I got my first card out and made my way to the front of the bus. As I got off I turned to the serious 40 something man behind the wheel and said to him “Thank you for driving so I don’t have to.” It took a minute to register what I had given him but his serious demeanor had given way to a smile as he pulled away from the bus stop.

Card #2: Spadina Streetcar Attendant

(Photo by Daniel Lobo under Creative Commons License)
On this day I was in Chinatown buying the ingredients for a delicious Thai meal I had planned. I didn’t really want to go, though, as it was about -15C and felt like -25C with the windchill but I knew I’d be glad when we were all eating the red curry chicken that I made. Leaving the store, I went to wait for the streetcar. Most streetcars board only through the front door with passengers paying their fare to the driver or showing their transit passes. However, on some particularly busy routes like this one, they will have one worker stand at the stop and their whole purpose is to go to the back door of the streetcar when it arrives and let people with passes board in the rear doors as well to speed things up. There in this horrible cold – the cold that I balked at walking outside in for the 5 minutes it would take to get between the streetcar and the store and back, was one of those attendants. He was about my age and was pretty well bundled up As the next streetcar approached I fumbled in my backpack for another card. I showed him my pass and then asked him “Have you been out here all day?” “Nah,” he said, “I’ve just been out here for five hours.” “Then you need this:” I said and handed him the card. “What’s this?” he asked and then followed it with a noise of surprise as I boarded the car bound for home and Thai food.

Card #3: Finch Washroom Cleaner

It appears that there are a good number of folks who make every effort to make subway washrooms as filthy and disgusting as possible. It was so bad that at one time, you could smell the washrooms throughout much of Finch subway station – even just as you got off the train downstairs. Fortunately, the TTC has spent a good deal of money renovating the washrooms for improved cleanability and they’ve vastly improved. Of course the fact that they’re easier to clean doesn’t mean that whomever does the cleaning doesn’t have to work hard because the folks who messed up the washrooms pre-renovation still come by, I’m sure. And so, last week I came up the escalator on the way to work and saw one of the janitors waiting outside the men’s room with a large roll of toilet paper in her hand, waiting for all of the men to leave the washroom so she could clean it. I walked over and told her thank you for all you do and handed her a card. Like all the others I’d given out before, this was initially received with confusion, but once it registered what it was she smiled back at me.

Card #4: Eglinton Washroom Cleaner

I often stop at Eglinton Station on the way to work as I’m generally not very good at eating breakfast before I leave home (I just am not ready to eat, not sure what that’s about) and so I stop there for a bagel. On this day I saw that another person was cleaning the washroom there as well and had left his bucket of cleaning supplies outside the washroom while he mopped inside. I left a card in the bucket and went on my way.

Card #5a: Customer Service Representative

With a daily ridership of over 2.5 million people and over 12,000 employees a transit system is bound to have some complaints. And so it was that late last week I made my way to Davisville Station where the TTC customer service office is. I walked up to the customer service counter and asked “Is this where one makes a complaint?” The man behind the counter confirmed that it was, indeed. And so I passed the card through the glass and told him that it must be a really difficult job and I appreciate that he does it. Unfortunately, though, he couldn’t accept the card as he was not allowed to accept things from customers. He did thank me for the good thoughts though.

Card 5b: Fare Collector

(Photo by Neal Jennings under Creative Commons License)
Fare collectors have the opportunity to be extremely helpful throughout their day. In addition to selling tickets/tokens and collecting fares, they do everything from give directions to getting help for people in distress in the station. At the same time, they have a high risk job – there have been a few pretty horrible robberies at fare booths. Knowing now that they weren’t really allowed to accept gifts from customers, and seeing an empty fare collector’s booth with a sign like the one above in it, I slid the last card through the mostly-closed opening into the booth and went on my way.

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I take my transit system for granted and going out and doing this – actively noticing and thinking about what people are doing to make my trip from Point A to Point B as smooth as possible gave me even more appreciation for what an amazing thing it is to be chauffeured to and from work, shopping, and recreation every day and all the work that goes into it.

Another unexpected side effect of this project also came to light. The past several weeks have been really stressful for a number of reasons. I’ve been doing a lot of the things people suggest doing when under stress, going to spin classes and getting on my bike when the roads are clear, eating right, and doing relaxation exercises. But each one of these little gestures acted as something of a reset. I would do one and would be so glad to have made someone happy that for a while the stress evaporated and the things that were creating the stress seemed to lose their significance. It is an important reminder that kindness doesn’t just benefit the recipient.

Acts of Kindness Pledged: Here in our little town in northern VT, the town crew clears the walks when it snows, but the little bobcat machine leaves some snow/ice around the edges, and water dripping from the roof often freezes into ice before the next time they come by and salt. It is not unheard of for me to do a little ‘extra maintenance’ in between their visits.

Yesterday, as I scraped the icy slop from the sidewalk in front of our little mom and pop video shop, an elderly (but still very spry and outgoing) friend paused, after nodding hello in passing, doubled back and, looking me in the eye, smiled and said, “I just wanted to tell you how kind I think you are to keep the sidewalk clear like this, Mary, so people like me can feel safe walking by. It really means a lot.” I found myself feeling kind of self-conscious at the intensity of his expression of gratitude and joked, “Well, it’s not JUST for ‘people like you’, you know. I don’t care to slip and fall either!” He chuckled, but insisted, “There, and you won’t even let me feel ‘old’ and ‘alone’, while you helped me. That is very nice of you.”

That expression of gratitude, so lovingly made, has caused me to decide to ‘pledge’ to keep clearing and sanding the sidewalk, even if (as has sometimes happened) people tell me things like, “That’s what the town crew is for”, etc.

At the same time, I intended to remember to thank the guys from the crew, who do that and so much more every day and, in so doing, care for the WHOLE town! Pledge #1009, Hardwick, VT, USA

Make your pledge here!

photo Martin Male

Acts of Kindness Pledged:
1) Send a Valentines Card to the residents of “Moorings of Arlington Heights”. Hope it gets there on time & thanks for this wonderful idea.
2) Bring goodies in to my co-workers.
3) Clean my closet and donate clothes to local charity thrift shop.
Pledges #1006-1008, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

photo Timothy Valentine

In the mid 1980s, I was a very different person. Aside from the fact that I was fourteen, I had a pretty different focus in my life. Having skipped a grade, I was in grade ten, and at that point I had a pretty clear idea of where I was and where I needed to be. Where I was was a very small school in rural Vermont with limited offerings in terms of science and math coursework. I could clearly see where I needed to go at that point. I was going to be a doctor and to do this I needed to get out of this tiny school and into university where I could find some work that really challenged me. I looked at the requirements for graduation and saw that if I worked hard, I could take the last of the available science and math classes the next year and end up graduating two years early and get on with my life.

Fortunately, though, I had a teacher as an advisor who suggested that going away to university at age fifteen might not be the wisest choice. She had a different suggestion. Up until then, I had been single-minded in my course selection: I wanted things that got me closer to getting my MD. This meant math, science, and Latin. Other than that, I took only those courses that were required to graduate. Her suggestion was to try some other subjects, learn about new subjects I had never really explored and use that “extra” year to become what she described as a more well-rounded person. And so I took her advice: signing up for classes in drama, history, “Canadian Studies” (this will prove useful when I take my citizenship test!), environmental studies, drafting, and English Literature. I got involved in a volunteer group and another group of students whose goal was to prevent drug and alcohol abuse among teens. I did tech in a spring musical, and performed in a few one act plays.

Almost thirty years later I find myself in a very different spot than my fourteen year old self was planning for me. I did start university at sixteen, and admittedly even that was too early. I decided against medical school and instead ended up in the Biotechnology/Pharmaceutical industry. But I also have a passion for performing improv on stage, urban planning, social and political activism, cooking, and of course long distance cycling. This last one would likely be the biggest surprise to 14 year old me as I thought of PE class only as a waste of time and athletics as something that served only to divert money from the school’s academic budget.

Were it not for that one conversation, my life would have been less likely to have so many of the things in it that make me really happy today. This is something I’m grateful on a nearly daily basis.

And so it was that some time ago I found myself back in my home town after over 20 years of being away with the intent to find this teacher and let her know what a difference she made. As luck would have it, I didn’t have to look too hard as I ran into her accidentally. I told her all about the impression her words made on me and the difference it made in my everyday life. It felt really good to thank someone who made such a huge difference in my life. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to create a Facebook event to encourage others to share their gratitude with those who made a difference in their lives. 187 people joined me in sending out their gratitude to the people who made a difference in their lives. A few shared their gratitude with us on the event page:

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I am grateful for my husband, family and friends that I have been so blessed with, where would I be without them, to share my joy and my sorrow. Thank you!

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I appreciate the people who made a difference in my life along the way. The teachers,the ministers,the people who would bring this poor Kentucky child a pair of pants or a pair of shoes from time to time,the people who took me up to Lexington when I was 5 years old and got me my first pair of glasses,which opened up a new world to me. I also thank those who took the time to tell me I had a bright future,so that now I can enjoy the blessing of giving to others,to bring them joy,and maybe make a difference in their lives as well.

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I did this a couple of months ago – I wrote to my high school English teacher back in England (Miss Clarke) to thank her for casting me in the school plays and for inspiring me with trips to the Royal Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon where I eventually worked when I became a professional actor. I told her she was instrumental in giving me the confidence to pursue the career of my dreams. She sent me a lovely letter back sending lots of good wishes from my teachers and said “I’m convinced that whatever you’ve achieved, whether it was at school or beyond, you’ve achieved through your own efforts and talent.” She said lots of other nice things too, but I don’t want this post to be all about that. It’s a wonderful feeling to tell someone they really made a difference in your life. I’ll be sending another letter this week<

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I know the loveliest people, dogs and ponies on the planet and am joyfully grateful for all of em. And the ones that aren’t so nice, I figure they need more love, so I’m grateful for them helping me give more of that!

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I just thanked the lady who did this TED Talk, which I saw on a mutual friend’s facebook post, which inspired (& continues to inspire) me and others I know! She said it made her day! How cool is that!

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And as for me, I’d like to add another thank you to all of the others that were sent. Thank you all for supporting this project. Any time I feel the least bit sad or cynical, I need only look over all of the beautiful things you have done to know human beings are pretty lovely.

Photo by Kate Ware used under Creative Commons License.

Thanks so much to everyone who participated in the Holiday Card Drive. It was so great to watch the updates from Geri as they came. Here’s the final update via PRWeb:

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Holiday Card Drive Delivers More than 400 Greetings to Residents at The Moorings of Arlington Heights Retirement Community in Thanks for Acts of Kindness
Retirement community seniors receive holiday cards and emailed videos from children, adults, and families all over the world to thank them for their pledges of acts of kindness.
More than 400 holiday cards from all over the world were delivered to residents in health care at The Moorings of Arlington Heights, a suburban Chicago retirement community and member of Presbyterian Homes. The cards were in response to a gratitude drive started at 500kindnesses.com requesting holiday cards with personal notes and well wishes be mailed to them. The cards were in thanks for their pledges of acts of kindness supporting Canadian Todd O’Reilly, 42, and his 14-year-old son in their “500 Acts of Kindness” cross-country bicycle journey from Toronto to New York City.

The cards arrived from as far as Australia, New Zealand, Norway, The United Kingdom, Canada and from the U.S. states from coast to coast. One person requested the first names of all of the residents and sent personal cards to each one. Others sent YouTube videos of themselves singing Christmas songs. Another shared an ultrasound of their baby soon to arrive. Some sent lengthy letters with family photos and asked if anyone wanted a pen pal. They said they missed the relationship with older adults in their lives who were now gone and would be happy to begin a new relationship with one of The Moorings residents.

“The residents were astonished by whom and how far around the world their acts of kindness were noticed,” said Geri Wozniak, activities specialist at The Moorings. “We received cards from a class of autistic children, local schools, a Sunday school class and even one from a girl who lives at Herstmonceux Castle in East Sussex, England. The residents were further touched that a group of busy staff at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles found a moment to send a Christmas photo and card.”

Every morning, the residents read the cards together “as a family.” They recorded from whom each card was sent and displayed them all around the activity room. Ms. Wozniak then organized residents to create return greeting cards to send back with personalized messages to those who had requested a pen pal. One of the messages received from an eighth grader in Stroudsburg, PA, read “To Angels on Earth. You truly are the example the world should follow. You’re a godsend, thank you for your help changing the way I think of life!"

At 500kindnesses.com Mr. O’Reilly posted his thanks to those who sent cards and said “An act of kindness doesn’t have to be huge or take a great deal of effort to make a huge difference people’s lives. A card sent, a smile or a hug given, a meal shared – these things, when lovingly performed can be truly significant to another person…”

He continued “Most importantly, it also illustrates the power of turning ideas into action. We’re all filled with amazing ideas, beautiful ideas, ideas that can do nothing short of change the world around us. But if we talk ourselves out of doing those ideas, find reasons that it won’t work, or won’t have the desired impact, then nothing will happen. In this case so many people … just did it.”